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Football season is the one time of year when guys absolutely need to know how to throw something together in the kitchen. Whether you're watching at home, or going to the stadium to tailgate, you're gonna need some vittles. And since your girlfriend will probably leave the house to do whatever she does on Sundays, here are a few easy-to-prepare dishes that you need in your repertoire.
1. Chili
Is there a better lazy man's meal than chili? You hardly even need a recipe, just a giant pot and a little heat. Toss in meats, beans, peppers, beer and anything else you have around the house...and several hours later, you'll have a meal. Of course, that whole planning ahead "several hours" before thing is the hardest part.
2. Sausage And Brats
A man would have to be a total moron to screw up sausages and brats, considering that you can cook them using pretty much anything. Slap 'em on the grill, throw 'em on a pan, toss 'em in a pot with some beer broth, or put 'em in the microwave for a minute or two if you're uber-lazy. Oh sh*t, you forgot buns, didn't you?
3. Chicken Wings
A great chicken wing is a work of art, but a good chicken wing? Any man can do that. Buy a giant sack of wings at your nearest grocery store or wherever else sells giant sacks of chicken. Cook them on a sheet until they won't kill your friends. Finally, toss in hot sauce or butter or BBQ sauce or whatever sounds good. By the time you've dunked them into bleu cheese or ranch, they'll be hardly even recognizable as chicken.
4. Hilariously Long Sandwiches
The hilariously long sandwich is a staple of the male football-watching diet. An epic stack of meats and cheese, with just a few veggies for color, what could possibly be bad about this? Oh yeah, figuring out where to buy a five-foot loaf of bread -- it might be easier to buy a bunch of $5 subs and solder them together.
5. Anything With A Beer Can Shoved Into It
As you might've noticed above, manly cooking often involves pouring a little beer into the recipe. Whether chili or sausages or even as a braise, using beer shows you know what you're doing. And it also gives you an excuse to drink while cooking. So, why not take it to the natural extreme by shoving a full can of beer up a chicken's or turkey's ass and turning on the heat? Your friends will be super impressed -- unless, of course, they have something stuck up theirs.
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