Credit: Ed Yourdon/Flickr
Being a football fan is full of ups and downs. A real guy can accept that his favorite team is going to lose sometimes; a real guy can move on with his otherwise fulfilling life. A loser can't, and will break Guy Code by claiming his team lost for the following pathetic reasons...
1. Bad Luck
Horoscopes, astrology, tarot cards -- a man doesn't believe in this kind of unscientific hokum. Except when his beloved team loses. Then, he's all but certain that a mystical force "jinxed" them somehow. (Then again, if you're a Browns fan, you actually have to wonder.)
2. The Refs
Who grows up with ambitions of wearing a black-and-white striped shirt while blowing a tiny whistle? Yes, refs are clearly the worst part about football. But it doesn't mean they're the reason your team lost. They may flub calls, throw their flags at the wrong times and generally just get in the way of the action -- but most of the time, they're equally incompetent toward both teams.
3. Injuries
When giant, 300-pound guys are trying to crush each other play after play after play, injuries are going to happen. A separated shoulder here, a sprained ankle there...football players are modern gladiators, and they'll always be a little dinged up. It's not just your team. Though, you'll seriously injure yourself if you keep punching the TV screen.
4. The Weather
If the weather's hot, your team lost because they got dehydrated. If the weather's cold, your team lost because moving the ball up and down the field was a crapshoot. And if your team lost while playing under a dome...well, we all know that domes are BS and not "real" football. Yes, weather is something we can always blame for a loss, if we want to look pathetic.
5. "Choking"
There's nothing worse than a fan claiming his football team lost because some player couldn't handle the immense pressure and ultimately "choked." Especially when that fan is sitting at home in that player's "replica" jersey, drinking a six-pack of cheap beer. Remember, sometimes a missed field goal is just a missed field goal. And also remember: That man who "choked" is probably a lot happier in life than you are.
+ Follow Guy Code on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Google+